The year 2020 started extremely badly for a family on Cleveland Road, Lytham this morning as they made a gruesome discovery.  It is apparent a drunken Lytham reveller emptied his bowels at the front of their house.  There was also a pair of Topman boxers on the scene, which indicates it was probably a young male.

The wife of the household told Lytham St Anne’s News “I didnt know what a it was at first, I just picked up the boxer shorts and underneath was the faeces.  I nearly touched it with my bare hands. I screamed so loud and my husband came running out wondering what had happend.  He thought I’d been attacked.  There’s a lot of houses down this road, I can’t believe they chose our house. It’s like winning the lottery, but in reverse.  I’m absolutely devastated to start the year off like this. I have absolutely no idea what to do with the excrement.  It has an awful pungent smell to it too.  I just can’t stop crying.”    The husband added “I heard some commotion last night, a lot of laughing and wayhay noises, but just thought it was decent young people having a laugh for New Year.  Never in a million years would I expect to have this discovery this morning”.

Did you see anything suspicious down Cleveland Road last night? Or do you live down Cleveland Road and have CCTV? If so, please contact Lytham St Anne’s news.

 

 

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